Marriage Equality

I am personally thrilled about the recent Supreme Court ruling against the Defense of Marriage Act. Although this issue is so closely tied to our personal beliefs, values, upbringing, culture, and religion, for me, there has always been a clear right decision. But even setting aside those factors, I've learned a lot about love in the hospital. When a patient faces the hardest thing - unexpected illness, a terrible diagnosis, a difficult treatment, surgery, intensive care, palliation - it makes no difference the gender or sexual orientation of their spouse (or family member or friends). Sure, this is California, and I went to school in San Francisco, but when I am wheeling a patient back to surgery and his boyfriend or her girlfriend gives the patient a kiss, cries, writes down all the instructions, commits to changing the colostomy (or foley or wound) bag, bites nails in the waiting area, and so on, I see the same love. When a patient passes away and his husband or her wife holds the patient's hand, I see the same love. I've had veterans tell me how their same-sex union has not been recognized and how it changes their benefits. I've had same-sex parents of children undergoing surgery who show more concern than traditional parents. I've had friends and co-residents who have faced discrimination, disbelief, and insensitive and unaware remarks about who they are. I would never presume what kind of love qualifies for marriage, and I am glad that with the recent Supreme Court ruling we are making small changes not only to civil rights and equality but also, indirectly, to the care of patients.