The Lag in Blogs, and What Fellowship is Like

As you progress through the medical training, you gain more and more responsibility. You realize what it means to be truly invested in a patient's care and wellbeing. As a fellow, I am feeling that a lot. The buck stops with me; as a medical student or intern or resident, you can pass decision-making and responsibility on, but as a fellow, I have to call the shots or call my attending. And I take that seriously. This last month or so has been exhausting because I stay late, spend a lot my time and energy trying to figure out the big picture decisions for my patients. It's really hard, and I'm learning a lot as I see the outcomes of the choices I make. I am reluctant to hand over care of my patients, and I check in to follow up with what happens to them. Although I don't have to deal with as much detail-oriented "scutwork," I also feel a lot more responsibility for those in my care. I think this is all part of growing up, and the growing pains mean that my blogs are little less frequent.