Families

One of the harder responsibilities as an ICU fellow is dealing with the frustrated, disgruntled, upset, or angry patient or family member. Fortunately, we don't encounter this too often, but it does happen, and those conversations and interactions are really tough. I really believe that emotions like these are understandable; I've never been hospitalized in the ICU or had a direct family member in that situation, but I can imagine how hard it must be. There is always room for more empathy, better communication, fewer complications, and improved support in the ICU. I think that most people who are upset are learning to cope with having a loved one in a critically ill condition.

I write this blog, though, to describe how challenging it is to be in this situation. Although sometimes, we get advance notice from a nurse that a family member is angry, we are often blindsided in this situations. Grievances sometimes involve things that I (or my team) was not involved in such as missed diagnoses at an outside hospital, delays in the emergency department, or the cost of parking. However, there are aspects of ICU medicine for which we are guilty such as poor communication with the family. I often view my role in these family meetings as explaining the clinical situation and allowing family members to vent. In the last few months, I've learned a lot about handling these situations. A quiet room, a calm demeanor, open ended questions, acknowledge a family member's sentiments, and when arguing will just get you into trouble all go a long way to improving relationships with families.