Book Review: Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg is probably the most important book I've read recently. Although it is short, it is quite dense, a mix of a workbook, textbook, and nonfiction primer. Most of us don't think about how we communicate. We talk to our friends, coworkers, bosses, spouses, family. Sometimes we have arguments. Sometimes we have deep brilliant conversations. Sometimes we have fights. Sometimes we persuade each other. But we rarely reflect on how we talk.

This book challenges us to do that. It proposes a way of communicating that encourages openness, empathy, honesty, and engagement. Although it might seem simple at first, I have found good communication surprisingly difficult. I've also realized how much I have to improve. If I am not careful, I assume; I demand; I don't listen; I don't ask for what I want; I don't hear what the other person wants. The last two points are so, so important and they get missed so often.

We talk about this in medicine a little, that clinicians interrupt patients in half a minute or speak in technical jargon when they shouldn't, but everyone can improve. Furthermore, we don't talk about how to talk in our personal lives, how we communicate with our spouse or parents or kids. Yet communication is the core of all our interactions. It shapes our relationships and creates the backbone for our shared happiness or frustration.

I recommend this book to everyone; I wish I had read it earlier in my life, like in college. Marshall Rosenberg explains things clearly and simply, and the concepts are not hard. Yet as I try to implement what I learn, I realize putting this into action requires a lot of attention and care. I hope that moving forward, I communicate with more kindness, empathy, and heart.

Image shown under Fair Use, from amazon.