The Capacity to Change

We underestimate our capacity to change. When I talk to a lot of my friends who are physicians, I hear stories about those who frustrate us: the parents who don't believe in vaccination, the uncle who continues to smoke, the roommate who "doesn't believe in taking medications." We see patients who are addicted to drugs, who drink themselves into liver failure, who won't check their blood sugars, who ride their bikes without helmets. But I think we underestimate the human capacity to change.

We do this for ourselves too. We don't think we can adhere to a new diet, we give up on our exercise goals, we let our projects waste away. And we think that's par for the course. We encourage others to change without meaning it. We make resolutions we know we won't keep. We go through life half-hearted and unmotivated.

I don't think it needs to be this way. I have seen true, genuine change. I have seen people's values, principles, ethical stances, political positions, and convictions change, adapt, and renew with time. I have met that cancer patient who quit their long-time job to write a book about dying; I know the chemical engineer who gave up that life and now meditates for fourteen hour sessions on the weekends; I have treated the investment banker who became an art philanthropist; I have talked to the abuse victim who confronts her abuser.

We need to expect change of ourselves. Change is a natural process of the self-aware life. When we live an unexamined life, when we stop questioning who we are and why we do things, we get into a rut and wither a little. When we need others to change, we are right to expect it of them, and we are also responsible for helping them reach it. In reflecting on our lives and what we expect from ourselves, we hope to become clearer and truer to our convictions, our goals, our values, our friends, our family, our community, and ourselves.