Beauty in Everyday Life

I've been pretty worn down lately: long days at work, stressful cases, insomnia, fractured relationships, family tension, difficulty motivating myself, overwhelming emotions. I anesthetize a patient for a bronchoscopy and biopsy of a lung mass. Under the microscope, it looks like small cell lung cancer. Her imaging shows disease outside the lungs; when I realize she likely has metastatic small cell lung cancer, I am greatly saddened that she may only have months left to live. The day before, in an orthopedic surgery with unexpected blood loss, I am splashed in the face with blood and irrigation. Glasses covered in blood, I pause the slightest bit but then continue to transfuse products and place an arterial line. A couple days later, a surgeon requests a central line in the middle of a surgery and I have to place it in a terribly un-ergonomic position; my shoulders still ache. On my way home, I realize I have been remiss in calling back friends, working on my projects, tidying up the household.

On weeks like this, I remind myself to slow down. I try to curate more art in my life. I've been filling the house with music when I get home. I've been changing the wall art. I make time to go to the SFMOMA, which just recently reopened. I cook. I write a poem or two. I cherish deep conversations with those I love. I take a walking meditation. I find beauty in the books I read.

How do we cope with those intense, confusing, and exhausting emotions in our personal and professional lives? How do we decompress from stress, avoid burnout, and find beauty in each day? How do we go from a work that is technical and scientific to an everyday world which is imperfect yet filled with art, music, literature, dance, and beauty?