Desensitization

I remember less than 6 months ago when we first began anatomy, I was filled with apprehension. I was hesitant to touch anything, much less cut or probe or retract. The cadaver seemed so fragile, so human, sometimes scary, sometimes disgusting. I wasn't sure what I was allowed to do or what I wanted to do. I played the role of observer while my peers delved into the internal organs and tissues and vessels of this dead body.

Much of that has changed. While I might not be eager to excise an organ or tease away a nerve embedded in a muscle, such things are intellectually fascinating. I like doing them, though I recognize that someone is being dissected for my education. I no longer feel disgust or fear. I have a sense of awe of the human body and its complexity. On the one hand, I worry that I am becoming desensitized to anatomy, but on the other hand, I feel that I have progressed in my medical training. The transformation of the medical student over time is both mysterious and inevitable.