Self-Made Man

Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent was one of the best books I've read in a long time. Written by a lesbian journalist, it recounts a 1 1/2 year experiment during which the author masquerades as a man in an experiment on gender, stereotypes, perceptions, and identity. She changes her wardrobe, dons a fake stubble, and takes voice lessons to pass as a man. She then joins an all-male bowling team, frequents strip clubs, dates women, joins a monastery, finds a job, and attends a John Bly mythopoetic men's movement group.

The idea of infiltrating a different group, whether gender, race, nationality, or other demographic is not new. But this book was an amazingly frank personal account of this experience. What I appreciated was that Norah Vincent says up front that this is not a sociologic expose or rigorous study of gender, rather, it is simply what she learned. She does not make any sweeping conclusions and indeed cautions against such stereotyping.

And yet, the content and epiphanies of this book are insightful, fascinating, and possibly true. She discusses the way men interact with each other, the differences of the job interview for a man versus a woman, the restriction on public emotion men have, the internal conflicts and burdens they carry, the attitudes about sex each gender has. She does this in a surprisingly neutral manner; she does not take a feminist standpoint and accuse men of all that is wrong in the world but neither does she coddle men and say it's understandable why they behave the way they do.

What I've taken away is that gender stereotyping ("that's just the way women are") is a myopic way of viewing the world. I've gained a little more insight into why people make judgments based on gender. I've learned a little more about gender in relationships, values, communication, and sex. Furthermore, this book has a fascinating psychological insight into personal identity and its relation to gender.

Lastly, the book is humorous and edgy. The writing is fabulous. I should note the language used and situations described may be offensive to some people. But I think Self-Made Man makes for a lot of great thinking and discussion.

Image is shown under Fair Use, from norahvincent.net.