Setting Sail

"To study the phenomena of disease without books is to sail an uncharted sea, while to study books without patients is not to go to sea at all" - Sir William Osler.

Today is my first day really being a doctor. Residency begins today, and I am starting as an intern in the VA intensive care unit. It's fascinating to hear how intern year is described. Those who just went through it can't believe they survived. Those a few years out still shudder with the thought. Those who are far out and gray-haired talk about it as the best year of their life. We, just about to enter it, do so with a morbid curiosity and great trepidation. This is our first test as a physician, and it's no longer multiple choice. We will learn, we will grow, we will cry, we will rejoice, we will suffer. It is time to widen the range of ability, emotion, compassion, self-confidence, and possibility.

I feel nervous, meek, somewhat an imposter, somewhat a charlatan. My white coat does not fit me. But I am here, and I am expected. It is not by accident that I'm a doctor. I can do this. What are my goals for this very first day? Get to know some patients. Don't make any egregious errors. Eat something. Don't break down. Start simple, right?