What Residency Is Like

Most days, it feels like all you can do to keep your head above water, to keep paddling without sight of the nearest shore or log or respite. When the alarm goes off at 5 in the morning, my brain begins racing as I plan the course of the day. Then, it is task after task, challenge after challenge, patient after patient. The cases blur together. The muscle memory kicks in. The small satisfactions wink by, but the small frustrations stick. Some anesthetics require active management throughout, and I'm on my feet acting and reacting without pause. Others may have that lull, and that's when I catch up, check to see how my other patients are doing, plan the following case, sit for a moment. A hurried breakfast, a rushed lunch, a glance at the following day's surprises, and suddenly, breathless and exhausted, I find myself trekking home. Often as a resident, you can only tend to those human needs: food and rest. I catch up with an old friend on the phone, and that fifteen minute call is a luxury. I cook, I clean, I bathe, I type, I sleep.

Some days, like today, the anesthetic is so incredibly satisfying, it's all worth it.